User Profile

I have been diagnosed with long term depression, i have had conflicts with addiction in my life that i am now prepared to overcome. I never really recognized depression in my life until this last year when i decided to make a change in my life and remove the aspect of substance abuse. I decided this after a month long binge that dropped my self esteem and introduced me to all the wrong people in my ghetto ass neighborhood. Since the admittence to my wife and myself I have tried to take my life twice and attended a rehab once. I was hospitalized for the suicide attempts but I learned very little. Im now seeing that an ego is the greatest conflict to a mental health condition. I learned allot about what i didnt like about my life in the last year but i always told myself that i could just will the issues out of my mind and didnt really need the help i was seeking. I have caused allot of pain to the people that i love and love me. I had a numbed sense of empathy when it came to the emotions and feelings of others. Not that I wanted to hurt anyone i was just oblivious to the dynamic of my actions. Recent events in my life have caused an emotional breakdown of sorts, a reboot. I had released a part of myself that i have never seen and do not want to see again. All I can do at this point is try to reconsile with myself and develop the life skills that i have been lacking.
My goals this year:
-Eliminate drugs from my life
-Attend one behavioral cognitive therepy session a week.
-Balance my medication.
-Be honest to everyone i meet and know.
-Attain a complete psych profile
-Attend a anger managment course
-Develop a new career, and stay sharp in my trade
-Not to go to Jail

Im sure there will be more added to this profile as the year progresses. This journal will be an attempt to catalog and gain the scruitney of others so that i may suceed ware i have failed. It will remain mostly annomynous, i will try not to identifying facts. If you feel like commenting please be brutaly honest.

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